


A Bad Joke

by xLoLix



Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoLix/pseuds/xLoLix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Stop me of you've heard this one before. A titan and a hunter go out on patrol...'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Set Up

Hakim frowns at the data readings on her HUD. This place was clearly an industrial hotspot in the Golden Age. It seemed promising at first. So far no luck. She didn't like it here. There was a feeling in her gut, like a creature curling up her insides with paranoia. The distaste was only getting worse as time went on.  
  
The narrow ridges and valleys would occasionally open up to long stretching flats, scattered with an occasional ruined factory or town. Both settings were too exposed. Easy way for a sniper to take them out. It was the first of many factors that put her on edge.  
  
The way things rotted away in a different way than she was used to seeing. Her ghost had made an idle note about the lack of... stuff. Not just the valuables, but anything and everything that wasn't bolted to the ground. Hell, there was evidence to suggest that even a couple of the things that _were_  bolted down were taken. The thick layer of dust didn't look like it was disturbed since these places were first abandoned. That could have been as far back as the Collapse. It made the place felt stale and dead.  
  
Conversely, the environment outside is hot and arid and the sun is blindingly bright. It makes her miss the Cosmodrome in Russia. The air there is crisp and chilly. Sometimes she would even see her own breath. Taking her helmet off there was refreshing.  
  
She wanted nothing more than to take her helmet off now, even though she knew it would be little comfort. If anything it would only make things worse. It was not like her to feel so confined in her armour as she did now.  
  
Which she thought was strange. So many things about this place reminded her of the Meridian Bay, just less red. She supposed Meridian Bay was easier because she knew for certain that the helmet stays on no matter what. It's not worth worrying about if there's no choice in the matter.  
  
No... There's something else.  
  
'Hey what's up Kimmy?'  
  
She looks up at her partner, Liv-24. The hunter indicates down at her foot. She's been nervously tapping the toe of her boot into the ground so intently she made a hole in the dirt. She deliberately sets her foot down to stop.  
  
Ah. Not even the damn hunter could miss that. She frowns even further and shakes her head. 'Something doesn't feel right.'  
  
'Should it? I'd be more worried if nothing went wrong.' Liv was not incorrect in that assesment.  
  
The titan grunts in discontent and presses on, trying to shake the feeling. Maybe running into the Fallen house that is supposed to be here would make her feel better.  
  
She had her ghost out so it can do an environment scan periodically. It keeps reporting back in the negative for anything useful or noteworthy. Maybe this place was lucky during the Collapse. Maybe the people here got a warning early enough to be able to pack everything up and run. It would explain the empty factories. Yet the job was done so thoroughly...  
  
They've been at this for hours and it has come to the point where they were both determined to not come back empty handed. The Vanguard wanted a push for more territory. If guardians can keep a hold of more ground, it would be a testament to the guardians growing strength, and it would draw in more resources. Only problem is it was a shitty ass job that nobody wanted to do.  
  
'Why are we even here anyways?' Kim wonders out loud.  
  
'Do...' Liv gives her a quizzical look. 'Like philosophically why were we chosen out of the other potential dead people our ghosts could have chosen?' She paused to think a moment. 'Because I have no problem having this conversation. You just never came off as the kind of person who would ask.'  
  
'No I mean. Why are you specifically, out here specifically with me is what I meant.' The titan rolled her eyes. 'I don't know why I said "we".'  
  
'Oh.' She almost sounded crestfallen. 'Would you rather you came on your own?'  
  
'God no.' The answer came out quick. 'It's too easy to get caught in an ambush or a trap out here.' It would be a dumb way to go.  
  
'Aren't they the same thing?'  
  
Kim turns her helmet to face her partner. The reflection of the exo's own helmet on the titans faceplate is somehow enough to perfectly convey the annoyed look on Kim's face.  
  
They keep moving. All it takes is just a small red blip on their trackers to get them down low, and moving more cautiously. Liv looks expectantly at her titan.  
  
The titan lets out a sigh. It's not out of exasperation. Maybe relief. She now has a place to focus all her pent up worry and energy. At least killing Fallen doesn't require too much thinking. 'We do what we usually do. I go in, tear up their front lines and you stroll in at your leisure and look pretty.'  
  
'Ha. Ha.' The way Liv said it made it sound like she actually thought the joke was funny.  
  
The titan charges out, kicking up dust and sand in her wake. She tackles the first dreg she reaches and sends that one flying and punches another with enough force to knock him and two of his friends right of their feet. By then the rest have clued in on what the hell it was that caused that and ran for cover. Kim takes some shots with her rifle but only manages to keep them pinned.  
  
She dives when she sees the captain and the snipers take aim. She avoids them without trouble. She wasnt so lucky with the servitor. Kim lets out a pained yell.  
  
It's one disorienting moment of dizzyness followed by a few comforting jabs from some cloaked vandals. Kim and adrenalin have a very odd relationship. Adrenalin is all too happy to do its job when things get too ugly, and the only truly lucid moments are when she hears the vandals skull crack hard against the ground. Or when she lets the crushed pieces of the shank fall from her clenched fist. As if adrenalin only lets her check in after, just to show her that it's doing its the job right.  
  
Sometimes something else pulls her down from her high. In this instance it's the tell tale buzz of a Sparrow.  
  
'Yeeeee-ha -- Oh, no!'  
  
Kim is not quite sure what possessed her to look up. She did so in time to see a smoking Sparrow soar right overhead. Unlike its namesake, this one veers, rolls, (flinging its owner into the nearest  sand dune) and crashes spectacularly into the side of the Fallen bunker.  
  
Kim almost forgets to shoot a vandal coming at her.  
  
The extra gun made the clean up feel almost casual.  
  
'This was only an outpost.' Liv concludes emerging from the bunker. Dust and sand was still coming off her cloak from that Sparrow stunt.  
  
'Yep. And a boring one too. They didn't see us coming and when they did they hardly put a scratch in us.' Yet the paranoid feeling was back. Like the small creature was coming out from hiding, back to gnaw away at her nerves. The Fallen were not the cause. It was a possibility she considered earlier but deliberately ignored. The implications were uncomfortable to think about. It was the kind of paranoia that made her scan the cliffs and buildings more carefully and with greater frequency.  
The hunter throws her arms up, letting out a defeated sigh. 'Well fuck. Even the Fallen already know there's nothing here!'  
  
All Liv gets is a shrug from her fireteam leader. 'We should get out of here.'  
  
'Wh- after all this time?' The hunter sighs. 'Yeah you're probably right. This whole trip was a waste.'  
  
The titan makes no move to put away her rifle as they start off again. She does one more visual scan of the area and there it is. She catches something just outside the corner of her vision. She shifts to move more quietly, her rifle at the ready. That gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach was getting increasingly difficult to ignore.  
  
The hunter was busying herself with some quick checks on her fusion rifle. 'Hey whats your first name anyways? You never told me.'  
  
'Olivia.' She answers like it's an afterthought, barely even registering that she was asked a question in the first place.  
  
'Kimmy talk to me.' The hunters tone was quiet making her only audible through the comm link. She follows her titans lead and readies her own rifle.  
  
The titan turns her head to look over her shoulder and puts a finger up to her helmet. Then she pointed at a crumbling structure a distance away. Liv nods and creeps forward.  
  
'Olivia?' She resumes her usual lax tone. 'Man, you gave that away too easily. What happened to all the titan mystique I thought you had?'  
  
Had Kim not known better, she would have been completely fooled by Liv's casual tone and thought nothing was wrong. Hell, she would have probably been fooled has she not been watching the exo intently. Liv draws one of her knives soundlessly with practiced grace. The hunter is almost at her mark.  
  
'Hunters are the ones with the reputation for mystique.' Kim draws out the sentence carefully.  
  
She doesn't sound convincing to her own ears, but it does the job. It's enough to give Liv the time she needs to close the gap and lunge around the corner knife at the ready.  
  
Kim takes off sprinting to leap on top of the structure. She hears Liv let out a surprised yelp and she pushes herself to move faster. Whatever it is is giving her hunter trouble. She reaches the edge drops down right on top of where Liv should be. She draws up her rifle and is stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
'Kim wait!'  
  
Liv has both her hands under Kim's arm. She had forcefully moved the titan's aim skyward. It almost got the hunter punched, or worse, headbutted. But the flash of rage evaporated as quickly as it had stuck. Liv let her go as soon as she relaxed.  
  
'Please,' a voice rose up, trembling.  
  
'We're human, don't kill us. Please.' Another one pleaded.  
  
Two humans. Huddled under the shade of the structure were two, scared humans with their backs to the wall and their hands up. What they are doing this far from the City is a mystery. Then it takes a moment for the true meaning of the situation to sink in. Kim draws the same conclusion that Liv already had.  
  
They are not guardians.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next part takes a more serious turn.


	2. The Punch Line

'People? Outside the city walls?' This job was getting stranger and stranger. First a whole lot of nothing. Then the half assed Fallen outpost and now this. Liv-24 was not sure how to process all this.  
  
The two strange humans had a very ragtag feel to them. Their armour was salvaged and very old or home made from scrap. It was obvious it wasn’t made for hard combat either. Instead it was light for travel and their colours matched the landscape almost perfectly. Neither of them had helmets. One of them had a sniper rifle slung over their shoulder. It was like if hunters wanted to be hunters but didn’t want the fight. Liv quirked her head curiously at the idea.  
  
'Its not strictly unheard of...' Kim sounds uncertain. Sometimes its hard to tell what she’s thinking but its clear she’s thinking long and hard.  
  
'Why would anyone leave?' Liv could guess its probably some political reason.  
  
The exo wasn’t totally familiar with the socio-political dynamics of the City. She got the distinct impression most guardians didn’t care for affairs beyond the Tower. Some didn’t even care about politics inside the Tower. It never really occurred to her to ask questions on the matter. She hasn’t been around long enough to have any.  
  
'People find their reasons.' Kim eyed the two humans.  
  
The titan on the other hand was forged long before Liv had. How much longer she didn’t know. Liv wondered if her partner would be able to name a few of those reasons if she asked. She should save all those questions for later.  
  
It was then that she picked up on the two humans having their own hushed discussion.  
  
  
'--not so sure. We don't know who they are.' The one with the sniper rifle said. A man.  
  
'What? You saw them take out all those Jocks. I know you did. What more do you want?' The other one was a woman wearing binoculars. She seemed in awe. Liv can see it in her face.  
  
'That’s what I’m worried about,' the first guy whispers. 'They can kill Jocks.'  
  
Jocks? Are they talking about the Fallen?  
  
'Who are you?' Leave it to Kim to be direct.  
  
The two of them stiffened up like statues, like the question stunned them. One of them -- the nervous one with the sniper rifle -- speaks up, 'what does it matter?'  
  
'We're survivors like you!' Binoculars cuts in. 'We didn’t think there were any.'  
  
'Bets...' The nervous one whispers to their friend in a warning tone.  
  
'We lost hope of finding others decades ago.'  
  
'Bets, Hush.'  
  
'All we ever found were those damned jocks. Those monsters kill everything.'  
  
'Bets!'  
  
'What is your problem?' Binoculars snap just a little too loud. It makes the sniper wince.  
  
'Bets just think for a moment.'  
  
There they go again. Lost in their own world carrying on as if Liv and Kim aren’t there. Liv listened intently until she caught her partner shifting out of the corner of her eye. Kim is taking out her heavy weapon and loading it up. Liv lets out a disapproving huff. It should really already be loaded, the titan should know better. Shame on her. Kim glances up at her before taking a few steps away from the arguing duo and the hunter. She takes aim in a seemingly unrelated direction, steadying the rocket launcher on her shoulder.  
  
'Kimmy what are you--' Liv is cut off by the sudden whoosh of a rocket being fired. The explosion engulfs the Fallen outpost base. Its quickly followed by a second round.  
  
Dust and smoke clear as Kim casually reloads her weapon. The two humans have huddled up with their hands over their ears. Liv just stands there too confused to make a move. More accurately, she couldn’t decide what to do or even how to begin to approach this bizarre change in behaviour. Two more rounds make their mark on the Fallen outpost before Kim sets her rocket launcher aside.  
  
'Are you quite finished? Because what the fuck?' Liv gestures toward the now demolished outpost base. As if it wasn’t obvious what she was talking about.  
  
'You,' Kim points to Liv. 'Shut up.'  
  
'Fuck you! You keep --'  
  
'Liv.' Kim puts a hand up to Liv. 'Remember who paid for your sniper rifle and shut. Up.'  
  
Liv stammers indignantly at that.  
  
'You two,' the titan nods towards the two humans. 'Leave. Now.'  
  
They don’t move. The woman, Bets was her name, has a tight grip on the other's arm. He has his hands gripping the sling of his sniper rifle.  
  
'I just destroyed the comm station in the base. If the Fallen weren’t coming before, they definitely are now. You have a few minutes at best.' When they don’t react, the titan takes a step towards them. 'Leave.'  
  
'What about you?' Bets asks timidly.  
  
'What about us? Why should you care?'  
  
'You’re other survivors...'  
  
'Do you really want to run that risk of being found?'  
  
They say nothing. The sniper makes the first move to get out of there. The other one hesitates but follows suit.  
  
'Kimmy.' Liv says quietly into the comm. Her partner ignores her in favour of watching the pair leave. 'Hey Kim.' Still nothing. 'Kimmy, please.' The pair disappears into the cliffs.  
  
A Fallen dropship comes as expected. The fight feels routine but there is an underlying awkward undercurrent that Liv finds impossible to ignore. It’s enough of a distraction that she misses the stealth vandal that manages to slip past Kim and flanks her. Liv flubs the counter and pays with a solid stab square in the chest, right in her core hydraulic regulator.  
  
This part always sucks. At least headshots are instant. These kinds of deaths are a slow paralysis. Starting from her fingertips, each joint stiffens as more and more of her body becomes useless dead weight. Pressure loss causes her chest to collapse, crushing the more delicate intricacies of her physical makeup to short out and send literal shocks of pain through her.  
  
Her more organic counterparts almost always mention losing consciousness before actually dying. For exos, consciousness is the last to go. Liv knows in reality her death doesn’t last more than a couple seconds. But the single moment between losing her last bit of sensory input data (in this case her hearing) and the time she finally blinks out feels like a goddamn eternity. There was a time when she would spend that time mentally kicking and screaming. She would throw a fit like a child for whatever misstep or miscalculation that got her killed. It wasn’t a good way to go. Liv realized it exhausted her in a way that somehow transcended revival and start her off on the wrong foot. Now she sits and waits with the reality of her mortality for company. Sometimes she dreams.  
  
_Listen._  
  
She does. She leans in closer.  
  
_There is movement in the darkness. There is ugly noises and shadows of teeth and claw and blade._  
  
She wants to step back and turn away.  
  
_They appear from the void. From the depth below. Their voices are unintelligible. They will rise and consume the light._  
  
'Ugh.' She groans. 'Seen that one already.'  
  
'Hey Liv.' Is that Kim? 'Stop being dead. It's inconvenient.'  
  
Ah.  
  
'You missed the party by the way.' Liv can practically hear the shit eating grin in her voice.  
  
'I was planning on getting up, but instead I’m going to lay here to spite you.'  
  
Kim sighs and stands up from where she was kneeling beside her partner, holding a hand out to the hunter. Liv makes an effort to take it but gives up half way. Her titan scoops up her hand to haul her up onto her feet. Kim was having none of that shit.  
  
'Lets go.' The titan strides away.  
  
Liv takes a few steps and then stops dead in her tracks. 'Hold on. I got questions you need to answer first because seriously, what the fuck.'  
  
Kim doesn’t say anything. Just turns to watch her. That was the thing about Kim. The titan had a knack for keeping level headed even when she's angry or under fire. It was something Liv admired. Usually. Right now it was driving her mad.  
  
'I don't -- You just --' Liv stammered, unable to find the words in frustration. She puts a hand to her helmet and closes her eyes. There's a dull whir sound as she resets the brightness sensitivity in her eyes. She doesn't need to, but forcing herself to stop to do it has a meditative effect. It's like the exo equivalent of taking a deep breath, or counting backwards from ten. When she opens her eyes and looks up, Kim is facing her with arms crossed. Liv holds a hand out towards the cliffs. 'We could have done something.'  
  
'And? What could we have done?' Kim eyes the younger guardian. 'You heard them talking. They're not just some idiots who thought leaving the City was a good idea. They're survivors of the collapse. Somewhere out here there's a group of people that have lived out here for centuries. Without the Traveler's light.'  
  
Liv looks over her shoulder to scan the cliffs on the horizon. 'Isn't that all the more reason?' she asks uncertainly.  
  
'No. I don't think we should interfere.' Kim turns and starts walking. She makes a point of choosing a direction that is not towards the cliffs. 'We're already putting them in danger by being here. The Fallen know we're here and are following us. Liv, you said it yourself. They don’t think there's anything out here. We should make sure it stays that way.'  
  
Liv tries to raise another objection but her voice box quits on her. She knows objectively that Kim is right. Just the way it was handled felt wrong, almost cruel. It didn’t sit well with her. How could it gone differently? This whole patrol mission was rotten from the start.  
  
As if on cue, another dropship comes to replace troops and retake their outpost. There’s a pile of near useless rubble where the base used to be. They have their work cut out for them. It let the pair slip away undetected to return to orbit and report back to the Tower. Neither guardian say a word.  
  
\--  
  
'Hmm. This is quite the find.' Commander Zavala said when Kim finished debriefing him on their patrol.  
  
Kim and Liv had somehow managed to get an audience with two of the Vanguard. The hunter vanguard is pointedly absent. Liv wonders idlely what business he could possibly be up to. She internally rolls her eyes at the ideas that come first.  
  
'I think you made the right decision coming back here immediately.' Says Ikora Ray. 'If what you say is true, there could be more colonies like the one you found.'  
  
'We never actually found the colony.' Liv cuts in. Its the first thing she's said since she and Kim entered the Tower.  
  
Ikora raises an eyebrow at that.  
  
'I thought--' Kim stopped herself short. 'I mean, I made a call. We'd only attract more Fallen if we stayed there to investigate. Maybe even lead them right to that colony.'  
  
'Interesting.' The commander rubs his chin in consideration. 'You may have ended up saving us and them a lot of trouble. There's no point in wasting resources on a colony that’s already self sufficient.'  
  
'Yes, I agree. Although,' the warlock vanguard turns her attention to the pair. 'It is good to know that hope will endure. Even in the worst case scenario.'  
  
'Good job guardians.' The commander gives them both a nod. 'Dismissed.'  
  
\--  
  
'Hey Kimmy?'  
  
The titan doesn't move. She is laying on her back with her hands behind her head. Kim has her eyes closed. Anybody else would guess she was asleep but the hunter knows better. Liv sits next to her with her arms over her knees. From this spot on the Tower, they can see the Traveler framed by stars and the occasional ship coming and going. It was a nice quiet spot.  
  
'Isn't there anything we could do?' Liv asked quietly. 'I mean, I get why we left. The Fallen knew we were there. You're not exactly subtle, Kimmy.'  
  
'Excuse me?' Kim cracked an eye open at that comment.  
  
'What?'  
  
'Never mind.'  
  
There's a pause.  
  
'Y'know that whole time on our way back I was doing what your doing right now. Thinking that there was something we could do. I kept coming to that same conclusion every time. That we'd only lead the Fallen to them. I guess being guardians, we just get so used to being the solution to every problem.'  
  
Liv never really thought about it that way. She decides pretty quickly she isn't a fan of the alternative. 'So that's it? Just leave them and hope they survive?'  
  
'Yup.' Kim sniffs. 'Not so different from the Traveler really.'  
  
Liv snorts. 'What a joke. At least the Traveler forged us to help that along.'  
  
'Yeah. Kinda makes you wonder why we're here. In the philosophical sense.' Kim turns her head and shoots Liv a cheeky grin.  
  
Liv lets out a short, loud laugh. 'Really? That conversation?'  
  
'Feeling up to it?'  
  
'Nah.' Liv lets her eyes go dim. 'Maybe some other time.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was an adventure. Perhaps we'll see more of these two later?
> 
> Thanks for your dramatic reading Lulu. It was delightful and also painful.


End file.
